Today I have to think....

Today a good man was put to rest. Today, the final good byes, yet, not the final tears for those that love and admire him. The way he touched others lives so genuinely and completely with his heart. That is a sad day. There are good people in the world, and he was one of them. He was one of the good ones.

I sit, and I think of my life. He didn't leave that day to go for a ride knowing he would never come home to his wife and kids. He just didn't. Unless we are dying of a disease that will take us, most of us don't know when that moment is going to be. None of us really know... ya know. We might know an end is near... we might know we need to make memories now with our loved ones and our friends... but we don't know that moment.

I hope I die a death when I know it is coming soon. I hope the doctors, at that time call my family and tell them the time is near. I hope I am with my kids and the people I love when I close my eyes for the last time. *** Note to anyone in the room with me when it is my time... if I die with my eyes open.... for GAWD SAKE please close my eyelids.... please. SMILING but so serious. Please... if you are with me when I die...give my kids a hug and tell them how much each of them meant to me. Please get the letters I will leave for each of them, and each of my grandkids under my mattress.... please give them time to read it on their own, but be there for them in case they need someone to talk to. When I die... please play Garth Brooks song, we will be free.... and when that is done... please play another Garth Brooks song... I got friends... and please sing along. Please give my kids a cd I will also have made for them... with *our song* that I have with each of them... and the song, Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler, and It Will Be Me by Melissa Etheridge. I will write the story of each of the births and put it in each of their envelopes as they will want to hear it one last time... they way they still do. I will tell them of how excited I was to hold each of them and look in their eyes the moment I held them. I will write how I was moved to tears in awwwwww of how much they owned my heart. Yes... God... please let me live a long and slow death so I can do all of these things. I love food. You better do a potluck, and there better be good food. Kday, you better open a cookbook and cook a recipe from that cookbook... and laugh the whole time... knowing how much you hate to cook but you are doing it for me. Rhonda, you go and talk to everyone and let it be cheery and smiley... as that is just your way... the nurturer. Kara, please convince Kday to lick her plate when it is done just for one last laugh. Holli can perform and tap dance for everyone... or better yet... do some fabulous song from Broadway. Dawn, mix the margaritas, Paula, sing Ice Castles... No... better yet... sing Photograph by Kidd Rock... Dawn can be your Sheryl Crow. Kerri, comfort my son, he will need it the most. Carol and Dru, please plan the after ceremony at Mo's. Don't buy me a fancy coffin, put me in a paper bag for all I care. Do it the cheapest way possible... I don't want to burden people with expense. I will be gone... I won't care. Keep your satin and ribbon. Don't worry about roses or big sprays of flowers. Pick me dandilions like my kids used to do. I love the dandilions. They make me smile. I am not going to tell you not to cry. CRY. I am a crier... and I will be watching... and if you don't cry, I may haunt your house. SERIOUSLY!!!! Kim will tell you stories of my older kids as children and Taylor puking on her wood floor from eating too much pepperoni on Christmas Eve. Dance... and sing... and hug... and remember times of laughter. That is what I want. I want to wear something that doesn't match... at all. Seriously... we put too much thought into our appearance... I will be at a place in my life... that I don't care... DEAD... I just won't care. Lynda, you can smoke one cigarette that day if you must... but only one... Krysta... I would like you to put a cup of coffee in my paper bag... I want into the pearly gates with a cup of coffee.... and stand up and yell as loud as you can... Wendy ordered some HAWT WANGS... and you better have truck loads of HAWT WANGS to share with everyone... it can be with blue cheese or ranch, I don't care. Tell G he is a good man and I am glad he is the dad to our children. Tell those that hurt me, I am ok, and I forgive them and I am sorry if I hurt them as well. Tammy will teach people the hustle... 70s style... and she will rock the dance floor. Eat cupcakes and mudd pie. Listen to my brother Troy tell stories, you will laugh your ass off... and my brother Jared will join in. My sister, Cami, she will know that I cherish the bond with her. She will dance to Rag Doll by Aerosmith if you really push her to. Ask Brandi if she will bake peach pies for everyone to have a slice... I am not sure if she will but, I hope she will. Play, sometime during the night... Happy Trails by Van Halen, as that is always a good memory of leaving school. Roger will show a soft side to himself, and not the tough cop exterior he hides behind at times... but the sweet caring man that has been my best friend since Alaska. Penny and Pam will cry... they are criers too... and Laurel... she will be passing out maple bars topped with bacon... as our adventures will fill her head, and she will smile. The men that hurt me, you are welcome to join... as I forgive you. Without you I would not be the woman that I am today... strong... well, trying to be strong. Yes, GAWD, please let me know when I am going to die. Don't donate my parts to others... my parts are worn out. Put them to rest. If I was healthier, younger, that would be one thing... but this body has seen its share of hurts... BUT... if I have any kidney stones at the time... have them extracted and plant them in the drink of someone that pissed me off in traffic. That is much better than flipping someone off for sure. So I have coffee in one hand, in my paper bag... someone please put a coor lite with bloody mix in it, in the other hand... I will drink it fast on my way up... this will be most appreciated if it is hot out. While I am laying there, please make sure I am sucking in my gut and I don't have anything in my teeth. Some of you read this and think I am kidding... I am not kidding. Out of all of this... what I want you to remember most... is to love on my kids and my grandbabies and tell them that they are my world. They are all that is good.... they are my riches and my wealth. They are what makes my heart so very happy... and I am so blessed to be their mom. Each of them has helped me grow in differnt ways. God knew I needed each of them in my life... He knows all...

From now until then... I need to figure out if I am living my life right. I need to check my bucket list... what is it that I need to cross off...

Singing karioke solo style... fat chance...
Rocking sick babies in Africa (for all of you that sit and think of half of them having aids, which you so freely share with me... and those that think I need to give within my country... well... I will be safe from the AIDS... and I do help with things within my country... do you?)
I want to cater... I want to have a bake shop/deli
I want to have a food truck to serve food to hungry construction workers, and soccer players, and baseball players...
I want to hike through Europe...
I want to watch anther sunset in Alaska
I want to let all those that I love, just how special they are to me...
I want to see a sunset in Maine
I want to travel through New England in the Fall
I want to get my kids all to Southern California yet again... as that is what they like to do
I want to forgive more freely
I want to volunteer more of my time to my community
I want to go in a movie theater and laugh so hard that I can't stop and they ask me to leave... that kind of laugh...
I want to see the ballet
I want to travel through Europe... hiking....
I want to go on a tv game show... just for the fun of it...
I want to walk up to someone in the grocery store and pay for the cart of groceries...
I want to have coffee in a diner and leave a 100 dollar bill... again
I want to sit with all three of my siblings and just tell them how much they each mean to me. Not in actions.... but choke through the sobs and let them know how they meant so much to me as we grew up....
I want to reach 500 people in one day handing out sack lunches downtown. The most I have done thus far in one day is 200...
I want to go to Georgia... and see the trees blossom
I want to go to Mardi Gras...
I want to go back to Flatlands and learn more....
I want to run through the sprinkler with the kids... let them forget they are adults... and just run through the sprinkler with Carlie and Bella...
I want to kiss and dance in the rain...
I want to find Dawna Clark...
I want to go to Seattle with Krysta...
I want to see Carlie swim with dolphins just like my other two kids did....
I want to backpack in the mountains...
I want to over come my fear and hike down the Grand Canyon


I will keep adding onto this... as there is way so much I want to do...

I want to be the kind of mom my kids remember me fondly
I want to be the kind of friend my friends remember and they laugh... or cry...
I want to be the sister and aunt that my family knows they can depend upon me...
I want to be a worker that is responsible and reliable
I want to be a neighbor that is good to the others
I want to keep volunteering in my daughters school so that she knows I care and it helps the kids
I want to advocate for kids that need someone to have a voice in this world, those that are forgotten
I want to take Carlie to visit the elderly in nursing homes, as often they are also the forgotten
I want to sit with a homeless person for a full night... and learn their story.

Brandi's rainbow heart has touched my almost magenta heart...

There are times when our hearts just belong to our friends that we have known for years. They are ... well... comfortable. They are strong, there are a lot of memories. There are past activities in which we have bonded to them... school dances, keggers in school, classes shared, secrets told. We support each other through boyfriends and marriages, child birth, and the ups and downs when we are parents. The biggest reward, and sometimes job, we have during our life, being a parent.

It is amazing how we have different friends we lean on for different things in our lives. I know personally I go to different friends for different needs in my life. Kara, she gets both sides of my feelings when I am confused. Kday, she sees the silver lining in everything. Kim... so much like Rosanne Barr that it amazes me... blunt, straight to the point. Dawn, she makes me smile, because with every memory of her, we were usually laughing... laughing hard. Kerri, she has this gift of nurturing others and is just like everyones mom and puts them on the right path again. Paula, just like a comfort food, something that I need to know is there. Tammy, recently connected in the past six years or so, originally by email, now facebook, is the friend that I have known the LONGEST, but brings the kid back in me from fourth grade. She might not remember it but I had her in third grade for a few days before my parents put me in private school yet again... and I even had her in the second grade... we just weren't fast friends yet. Laurel is my friend that we can sit next to each other and finish each others sentences. She is warm and bright and we can talk for hours and never repeat the same things... ever...

We, however, even later in life, run into people that just touch our hearts in a way that we feel an instant and constant energy. They mirror some of our belief systems and our way of thinking in ways that are most amazing.

When I transferred to Mead from Shadle Park High School, I was really scared. I knew a young man there that I had dated a year or two earlier, and I knew a few young men I went to church with, and I knew Laurel. Laurel was a Senior, and I was a Junior. I signed up for as many classes I could with her, yet, we got... TYPING together, and... Leadership. Those were the extent of our classes together. So pretty much I was on my own to find and build friendships.

Now, I have never been the prettiest crayola in the box. I was like... well... periwinkle. (Why ever did they name a color of crayon cornflower blue? Odd to me... always has been... always will be...cornflower, REALLY? Is it a marketing ploy to stick in our minds. Do they want us to walk around the room and wonder where the hell we can find cornflower blue... in a big meadow, while picking corn? WTH, I still don't get it.) Go look up the color periwinkle. It is nothing special... trust me on this one... I was always REALLY THIN... too thin for my liking. My eyes have a droop in the corner of them which my half sister, Megan, used to tell me, makes me look so sad. I got frost bite on my lips when I was in kindergarten... (all three weeks of kindergarten I went to at least, as I got kicked out of kindergarten... didn't like taking naps... didn't like the other kids taking naps, and really liked talking a lot during nap time and getting the others to do so as well... this is another story, for yet another day...). I had bought a snow cone in the freezer section of the grocery store. It melted so when I went home, I put it back in the freezer and it melted into a solid block of ice. I sucked on it for what seemed like days... but... in reality it must have been several hours... Captain Kangaroo, Mr. Rogers, Sesame Street, The Electric Company, The New Zoo Review... and The Brady Bunch... With this in mind, my lips turned a bright color of purple grayish color. My mom was upset my lips were dyed from the popsicle. After several days of my lips being a beautiful color of... well a mud puddle after a rain (ha)... and us having fellowship on Sabbath, at their friend the Larry Thayers house, (doctor in our church and small town) they were told I probably froze them ... gotten frost bite. Now, you must think I have gotten side tracked... yet... I have not. I know I was talking about my feeling awkward in high school. I am explaining it wasn't only in high school... but... also in grade school and junior high and started at a young age. SOOOOO stick with me here.... the size of my lips today, this is the size they were in grade school as well due to that damn snow cone. Fast forward back to high school... I took cosmetology at the skill center... which translates to... I liked to mess with my hair and change the colors. I liked to cut it, color it and curl the crud out of it. Don't forget the aqua net... as it was essential back then. It was a must. The only good thing I had going for me then, and now too actually, is that I had great eyes. NO... not the shape, remember, they make me look sad, by drooping in the corners. But my eyes... they are light blue. I like my eyes. The one thing I get compliments on... the one thing I like.

Back to high school and periwinkle. Within days, I saw a girl that stood out in my mind, as ... GULP... A GODDESS! You know... the girl that can enter a room and simply glow. The girl that every boy is going to turn his neck and head just to see... and as she walks away, he will watch her as far as he can... even standing on his tip toes looking like a goof (thanks for the word that is now a staple in my vocabulary) just to see over people as she is leaving. SHE was that girl. She, was... A MODEL. She modeled. Now if that doesn't intimidate an ugly girl, I don't know what would.

Being ugly and having issues in your life, you learn to compensate and be liked in other ways. Between my life and my religion and sticking out to some... I had to learn how to fit in, in a world where being a teen is hard at times. My way of escape, even to this day... is laughter... to make others laugh. When I laugh the most is when I am ignoring issues that need to be handled. Just the way it is... and it always has been.

SHE... SHE ALWAYS had friends near her. Why wouldn't she... she was gorgeous. I would never get to know this young lady... the Goddess. I would see her look at me in the pit from time to time, when I was doing something to make my friends laugh. I would feel so inferior to her... and I felt odd near her as I was a bit.... dah, dah, dah.... JEALOUS. How could she be so natural and so good at just BEING and I had to try so hard to make others laugh... to just feel accepted and to ignore my issues?

By the end of our senior year... this young lady had started talking to me... as we had econ together. I sat in her row. Me, Mike Nieman and Brandi. I was so nervous... what would she say... she was a cool kid... I was a nerd... I had one thing going for me... Mike Nieman. He liked me... he was my friend... and... he was HER friend. I was able to join in the conversations they would have. We got matched together in groups for class... slowly, I didn't feel so isolated and fearful of the Goddess way that was in my mind.

If I was periwinkle... she was... well... she was... actually hold on... I will be right back. I am running to grab Carlie's box of crayolas... the big box of 64 we just bought for her summer craft box.... Dang it... 64 isn't very many. When did 64 crayolas get to not be enough for arts, crafts and activities? Seriously... note to self... please get Carlie the pack of over 100 crayolas for first grade as this was crap... couldn't find bright enough or vibrant enough colors for my liking... Carlie is the artist and deserves the biggest box...

So... if I was periwinkle... then she was... well...MAGENTA! I looked through the whole box... and magenta is what I came up with! I love magenta. It just attracts the eye... and is filled with so much... calming, cheerful, vibrant... she was for sure... MAGENTA!





All of these years later, we started talking through her brother Scott. It has been fun reconnecting, so when his sister was a part of that, it was a double blessing. We have talked on IM through facebook... inbox... texts... on the phone and I was lucky enough to meet her for his birthday. He talked of her always, and it was so evident that she is his pillar, and, one of his biggest fans, with very good reason to be.

There is some family resemblance between the two in their mannerisms. When they sit side by side and talk, you can just see that they are so much alike in personality and they feed off each other. They talk about things from childhood and she tells him his memory is so much better than his. They talk about how Scott is becoming like his dad expecting her to remember the directions in town although she hasn't lived there for a bit of time. There is this look of love and admiration that they give each other that is precious and deep, and no words need to be spoken, when you witness it, you just know.

They are both kind and gentle. They both want to be the best people that they can be. They both like running and he encourages her to run but a back injury has taken her out for a bit. They both laugh at each others jokes. They have the usual childhood memories. She calls him turbo... although that had to change as the other pet name she had for him was not liked by their mom. They are siblings... best friends. It is like it was there when God created light... just... in our minds... always there. They are both deserving of the best people in their lives and of nothing but goodness and grace. They both are dear to my heart. She calls him Scotty when she sings Happy Birthday to him. It is touching.

Do you ever get this urgency feeling of pride in someone... of... being proud of the man or woman that they are? I feel that for Brandi. I have thought of this often and have really tried to put my thumb on it... of what I feel... and this is what I think. I have this urgency of pride for Scott as well, as he has overcome some obstacles like a trooper, full force, and no end in sight. He is going to accomplish whatever his heart desires. If he feels it in his heart, he has the ability to achieve it.

I think Brandi has become a woman of many colors... she wears many different hats in life, as we all do... yet, she does it so well... with class... with grace... with dignity.

Here, I show you, there are gorgeous colors... we have different colors and although they may not match well next to each other, on their own, they are beautiful.

I see Brandi as yellow to her brother Scott. She brightens his days. So many of his memories he talks about, as being the fondest, or the deepest, have Brandi in them. She brightens his days. He sends her jokes through text each day. They stay connected through not only memories and family bonds, but, also, through laughter. We all need laughter... WE ALL NEED LAUGHTER. She walked in and met him at a restaurant for his birthday in which was a big surprise for him, and I saw the transformation of his face and his posture immediately. Like, well... I don't know... like walking on the beach and finding a message in a bottle and lighting up knowing that there is something inside that is deep and meaningful... yeh... like that. He had a sparkle in his eye, and you knew that when she was in the room, he felt, hmmmmm.... at home. That is why I chose yellow.

Green... the color I think of as growth. Not only in ourselves, but helping others grow. She always has words of wisdom to share... even if those words of wisdom come out as... ya goof... or ya big goof... She encourages others to grow. Always a beautiful thing to have and share with others... growth... it is a good thing. She, however, with her family, has grown. She has grown into a mother and a wife. Some of us never get that growth... we go through the motions... yet, never grow into those big girl panties. She has... well... not so big girl panties as in size but as in responsibility. She works seven days a week to provide ALL that she can for her family. THAT IS HUGE. We all provide food and shelter right... she wants to provide them with everything. So.... this kind of mixes in with the next color... but don't blend them into a gray... as Brandi is anything but gray....

Brandi is red violet... which to me... is her passion. I see her passion being many things... her brother... her husband, her family, her love of cooking, her love of camping, her love of friends, her love of gardening... but, her biggest passion and what I think I connect with Brandi the most, is the love of her children! Her sons... her three musketeers.

Don't get me wrong... I know we moms love our kids... I get that. However, I am not sure that all moms make their kids their lives. Not all moms make their kids their WORLD... not all moms make their kids their EVERYTHING. I can assure you without doubt, that Brandi and her husband have made their sons not only their earth, but their universe. I am touched and honored to see a love like she has for her sons. I am amazed that someone feels like I do... as closely to my belief system on parenting. Little steps are huge steps... love that is so evident, there is no wonder in the bonds that exist.

Going back to the working 7 days a week. We were talking one day and Brandi mentioned how tired she was working seven days, not tired of working, but physically tired... but followed up with... but, I want Jacob to have the best graduation ever, and the best going away party before he leaves to the military. As Carlie would say... that filled my bucket... (which means... that made my day).

Turquoise Blue... Have you ever been to Lake Louise in Canada? Well... if you haven't you are missing out. Brandi reminds me of the color of Lake Louise. It is the clearest and most gorgeous color of blue around. It is calming. Not only the color of it, but the calmness of it, and the scenic view of it. The trees protect it and they add to the beauty. You can sit at the edge and just BE. You can hear nature, you can feel a breeze... it is calming, like when you are hurt and a parent holds you until you feel secure and safe again... just a calm... Brandi is turquoise blue.

Robin Egg blue... it is fresh and clean. A new start! A beginning. Brandi faces new starts like a trooper. Life seems to restart on us again and again, sometimes on a daily basis. Her world is changing as she prepares to welcome her son to a new world of independence of adulthood. She is hesitant. We as moms don't want to think of a single day without seeing the faces of our children. We don't want to miss the opportunity to hug them for support and encouragement, and if we are honest with ourselves... to feel needed by our children. She has given this young man roots and family values. Now, it is time to welcome him into this new space. I didn't do well with it. She embraces it and is facing it. She is in this new start of being a soldier's mom. Oh my Gosh... I so know that she is so prideful of that. This young man is going to serve his country. What an honor to have such a noble and caring young man. It is not only Jacob that she and her husband have taught well, but also Chase and Trey. Can you imagine having three sons and a husband in one home? She is well protected and respected I am sure. They are blessed to call her wife, and mother, or mom.

We were texting one day and she wrote me... GREAT IDEA HANDSOME. The next text read, sorry, that was for Jake. Made me smile... the way I would talk to my son...

Blue green... calming, like the breeze. She brings calm to those around her. She may be in her own moment of needing time to just BE at that moment, but she shares her calm with others. She is there when needed to calm their spirit and give wisdom. She is giving of her time and a pillar to many which is calming to those around her...



She is blue violet... another color of passion. There is going to be a day where Brandi is going to be a grandma. In the next ten years, I am sure she will have a grandchild. I see her as knowing what is needed to make her grandbabies feel loved and adored. I love my grandbaby with all my heart and I know Brandi is going to be the same way; doting... bragging, time consuming grandma that grandbabies need. She is so proud of her boys... wait til they have babies of their own. She is going to be the best grandma as she knows what it takes... and this I am sure of....

Brandi is purple... the color of the yaya sisterhood. SMILE.... What is that? Well, like the movie... friends... a sisterhood. They are born to another family... but bound through love and trust... hopes and dreams... dreams and realities. They are bound by unconditional love even after all the years pass. I love that Brandi also has high school friends that she still adores and they have a real sisterhood and commitment to each others lives. I love, love, love that. There are some things in life, that only get better. I believe that women need those types of friendships and love... the extra support as we take on so much more in life with our emotions than men at times. We want to be everyone's everything and it wears us out.... yet we rejuvenate each other.


Brandi is PINK! Brandi loves one of her friends so dearly and she happens to be kicking some cancer ass. I will not post a name, as our fights are so personal, and so much our story and not others... so the name is with held. Yet, I can tell you this woman is strong in her fight and she is doing nothing but purely fighting and kicking some ass on the way. This woman has come into our conversations from time to time with her progress and it is so evident on how much Brandi stands beside her in this wonderful journey we call life. She is learning lessons with her friend along this path. I am proud of you for loving your friend with all your heart.... and for not treating her any different... we are never different during the ass kicking we dole... just a different perspective, yet the same person.

My friend Brandi... you are magenta... I am working closer to magenta. Sometimes we make ourselves magenta even though we don't have the example of being deep or have the example on how to make ourselves into what we want to be. We feel our way around... and we get to where we land by trial and error. We learn through our friends and those we hold dear to our heart, and mostly, we learn through our children.

Thank you for showing me your rainbow of colors. Thank you for living life and loving with all you have. Thank you for loving others wholly and completely. I love you and your ENTIRE family more than you know. That has not changed, nor will it... ALL of your family.

I am so glad you are in my life and you have touched me in more ways than you know.

I can't wait to have Jacob be my guinea pig for cookies while he is out and about. I can't wait to continue growing and learning... and... and... and... We are going to have a bake shop... perhaps a bake shop and deli.

I promise you will be one of the people that when I am on my death bed... you will be one of the people in my life... I will be old and wrinkled... I will have lost most of my memory... I will have no teeth... but you will have been a part of my family... and a true friend... and in so many memories...

Do old friendships ever really die?

Today I was thinking about my friend Tammy. What is amazing to me about Tammy, is that we seem to be a lot alike. I read her posts on facebook and she seems so much to be like me in loving her kiddos and the people that are important to her. That can be said about many people in my life... right... that is how we work, we are attracted to people that we enjoy being around, which often times are a lot like us. Now, I do have some friends that are so different than I am, but they bring out a side of me that is not seen often... or not at all... but, they are always kind and caring people. I love kind... and I love... caring. That is what I like. I like people that I can laugh so hard with that I have tears running down my face. I NEED THAT.

What surprises me, however, is that Tammy... and I... have not been in the same room since fifth grade when we were in Ms. Berry's, or Ms. Barry's, or was her name Ms. Barry, as she was going to be getting married. I am not sure if her name was Barry and she was going to be getting married or if it was something else and Barry would be her married name. ykwim? She is the one teacher I did not make a connection with at that young age of my life... oh no... Mrs. Nick as well... she was unkind and really mean to the kids... but... Well... hmmmm... Mrs. Barry was her name at some point. We, were in the fifth grade. That summer, I moved to Spokane, so I have not seen her since.

Isn't it funny how people can touch our lives in a BIG way even when we are younger... can you imagine?

I was Seventh Day Adventist when I was best friends with Tammy in the 4th grade. I was in awwwwww of Tammy and I wanted to be her! SMILE. Her sister, I think her name was Lori, and Tammy were great friends. They were blond. They were pretty. They had horses. They got to wear lip gloss. They got to dance. They got to watch cartoons on Saturday mornings. TAMMY, had her ears pierced... insert large gasp here!!!! and a big wink to you Tammy. She had a collection of Bonnie Bell Lipglosses. She and Stephanie Stephens or Stephenson, (I forget the last name) bought me a butternut Bonnie Belle lipgloss. Then they were HUGE... not cute little ones. Kind of like how the cell phone had evolved... yeh... like that. AND....Tammy got to wear HASH JEANS... and STAR JEANS... and she got to also... carry one of those big ass combs in the back pocket... the ones that looked like one of the tropical swirl life savers. JEALOUSY from WENDY!!!!

Tammy got to spend the night at my house one night... and my dad was at work. Somehow... and God only knows how... but I talked my mom into letting Tammy teach me the HUSTLE! YOU GOT IT... the SDA girl learning how to dance... oh my... what a sinner I became that very night... no ands, ifs or buts about it... I was going to go to hell for sure.

I go to Tammy's page now... and... I love to look at the photos of her family... of her life... of her husband. I am so proud of her that she has turned into a wonderful woman, a great wife and the best mom.

I can't wait til we get to spend a great weekend together. I can't wait to make more memories with her and just laugh... the kind of laughs you do in the fifth grade where it is ok to be silly and not care who hears you laugh.

We can talk about banana seat bicycles, Mike Elliot's robot he made in the fourth grade... riding the bus with the red head we teased my brother about being in love with. We can talk about the peanut butter they served on the rolls at Davis Elementary School, and about Shawn Cassidy, as we both loved the guy with the best feathered hair.

To you Ms. Tammy... I don't tell you enough... but I love you... and you touched my life in ways you will never know....

Blessings on this journey....

57 Days to PURE HEAVEN... girls weekend

There are many things I am blessed for in life. Family and friends. THE BEST KIDS!!! Loving to look back and seeing I am still standing, not always strong, but STILL STANDING! What could be better?

It is also exciting that I live near one of the most beautiful coastlines. It is so nice to drive over, if even for only a day and spend the day at the coast. I take that for granted at times I suppose. There is nothing like smelling the ocean and having the sun on our face, and shoulders with my toes dug in the sand.



This summer I get this and MORE! I get to have a great group of gals that are going to be joining me at the coast for the weekend. Some I have known since grade school. One I have known since Hawaii. One I used to share a locker with in high school. Some that I have recently gotten to know through other friends. Some were Shadle Highlanders and some were Mead Panthers. One used to laugh at me often and would get me to do silly things such as rub hot pepper in my eye (a hot pepper from our teacher's plant) so I could get out of class. (I did this for months). I am so excited to spend time with them and just getting away from it all.
These photos are actually from nearby Newport which is about a 20 minute drive from Lincoln City where we will be staying. Still... this is the coast. I plan on driving into Newport for a couple of hours on one of the days. I will squeeze it in... as it is a fun little town and I have great memories here... with many friends that have joined me and my family. PS.... Mo's is a kick and don't listen to people that think any different. I have always had fun there... cheap food that is relatively good. They karaoke there on the weekends and the DJ does a great job... he has a great voice too.

I won't be crabbing this time... although I love to go crabbing. It is so relaxing. I love to do night crabbing out on the dock when it is more private. You hear the fog horns... and the sea lions swimming around trying to get my crabs out of my nets. You hear the waves in the bay crashing against the rocks. I have had great luck at night crabbing too... mostly because there is not a lot of other nets out so crabs head to your bait instead of having to choose where to go.

I am sure that there will be salt water taffy and caramel corn bought sometime on the trip. The caramel corn has nothing on Paula... (her recipe packed 10 lbs on my rear this winter I would say with much reluctance to admit).

We are going to have wonderful food... and a lot of great memories of our girls weekend on the coast. Did I mention that our house has a hot tub... yes... a hot tub. AHHHH... and our house is a six minute walk from the casino and about two blocks from the beach. We are going to be spoiled for sure.

Celebrating Friendships and Passions... please join us...

My name is Wendy. I know that I am pretty blessed by the friendships that I have. A lot of my friends, I have had since grade school. That is sometimes difficult as I am so far from them now. (Thank goodness for facebook).

I realize that many times in my life, it is my friends that help me through most of my struggles by just listening or being supportive. It is like having a bunch of sisters. I love my kids dearly but can't tell them all that I tell girlfriends. I take different things from each of them. They each mean something different to me... and I love that as well.

Come on the journey of friendships and love... of our passions. Bookmark us and come back OFTEN. We each will be sharing different things with you. You are always welcome here... pull up a seat and lets get down to business. The ladies will be introducing themselves and what they hope to contribute to the table. You will see yourself in at least one of us... perhaps a little bit of all of us.

Welcome....