Monday, June 28, 2010

A baby shower...

These are little diapers that I made to hold the nuts and mints in. You can't see very well, but they are pink with little white polka dots on them.

Just setting up... preparing

What we served lemonade out of. It looked so nice and was perfect. I bought it for Amanda last year. It matched perfectly...

I loved this shot of the pearl colored pink balloons to mark our spot.

Pink roses for Mandie and Bella.

The spread, or part of it... Spencer's mom did a great job on a wonderful potato salad, and a pasta salad with a tray of fruit as well. I brought the veggie tray, a caramel apple salad, a curried rice salad, and a baked potato salad. We bought chicken as well. It was a nice picnic lunch for everyone. We had lemonade and Spencer's mom brough bottled water as well. There was the cutest cake that someone from Amanda's work made for her. It was amazingly cute.

The cake Amanda picked out was precious...

The book for Bella and what Amanda's dad wrote in it. His words are always wise.

A candid shot. I caught her looking at Bella again. Makes me well with tears at times.

After I had Carlie I really missed my tummy for this reason... I didn't know what to do with my hands anymore. That had gone there for so very long. I wonder if she will miss that as well.

Amanda and Carlie... Carlie loves to talk to Bella... it is precious...

Amanda and her friend Aime. Very kind lady and a good friend to Mandie.

Aime, Amanda and Carlie eating some lunch in the sunshine. A perfect day for the picnic.

Catherine, Amanda, Natalie and Rochelle. These are some of Amanda's friends as well. She lived with Catherine and her husband Garrett for about a year. That is how she knows the other young ladies as well.

Amanda and Jamie. Amanda met her while working at Wachovia and they have remained friends along the way.

Aime was cute and always touching Mandie's tummy. It was so precious to watch. Amanda is blessed with friendships and some people that really care.

Everyone wanting to touch Little Miss Bella (not to be confused with Little Mint, in which Carlie plans on naming her daughter when she is a mommy.)

Sometimes there are just things in life that there are no words to fit the way you really feel or what you see. Many times like this for me... which seems odd as I am very much a talker and people think that there are never a loss for words from me. However, they are wrong... I just don't let them know this secret.

The sunsets in Alaska. My parents lived in a home that overlooked cooks inlet. I could sit on their front porch and look at the sunsets over the water. They had these gorgeous colors that were so bright and vivid. I was young and didn't realize many things in life yet (do we ever really get there) and yet, at 19, I could appreciate that beauty. I would sit in silence and simply think. It sucked me in... I was at a loss for word by the beauty.

My son being diagnosed with autism. Another example. There are no words to describe how that feels. There are so many struggles with it. His milestones to some probably seem pretty small, yet to me, they mean so very much. I can't put my love or admiration for him down on paper or verbally say them as there simply are no words. He is my hero in every sense of the word seeing him work through his life challenges. I love him beyond words, as I do my girls.

Hearing that you have cancer... no words to tell one how that really feels... scared, alone, terrified... another one of those moments.

When my five year old grabs my face and says you are the best mommy ever and kisses my cheeks... then skips off and asks me if that filled my bucket... (bucket meaning feelings, did she make my feelings so happy it went to the top of the bucket...) and I know how loving and sweet she is. I just have no words.

Well this weekend is a time I had no words yet again.

My oldest daughter Amanda is having a baby. Her name is Bella. Bella Jo as a matter of fact. She is scheduled to make her arrival on September 19, and we all know how that goes... we aren't sure when she will get here.

Her baby shower was this weekend. We had a shower for her. Her soon to be mother in law helped out with bringing a couple of salads and fruit and water for those that didn't want lemonade... which is good as it was a hot day. All of the rsvps were in, and about a third of the people didn't show even after they rsvpd. It was sad, why do people do that? It is frustrating. However, the day went well anyhow. The people that truly love her and wanted to be there for her were and that is comforting to know.

She was beautiful, as she always is. She had this little mama glow to her. She was nervous. She doesn't like receiving so much. My kids are all givers. They don't receive the best and get shy when kindness is bestowed upon them. She blushed and was at a loss for words at the kindness shown to her. The gifts were one thing, but her knowing that she was loved and cared for by others really made her speechless and she started to cry at one point. It was touching and I am so proud of the young woman that she is. Kind, honest and true to her word. She is loving and giving. She is thoughtful and precious. She has built walls up but under the walls from hurt... is this brilliant diamond, that shines and has people attracted to her laughter and the way her eyes dance, and that gorgeous smile that had braces for 4 years... ha... she hated that.

As I watched my daughter with her friends and loved ones I sat back and thought. This is one of those moments that there are no words that will ever touch the way I feel or felt that day. We try all our lives to be these fantastic role models and we often question our parenting. Did we give 100% of ourselves to our kiddos? Did we make the right choices by not letting them have what everyone else had just to be cool? Did we have too many rules for them to abide by? Did we tell them we loved them enough? Did we laugh with them enough? Did we teach them that crying is okay and good for the soul? Did we tell them that our words are everything to pick them wisely? Did we teach them to keep their word? Did we teach them the meaning of true friendship by example and doing kind things for those around us? Did we teach them to help in the community and to not be racist or sexist? Did we teach them that loving and being loved is the most wonderful thing in the world and it is not to be taken lightly? Did we teach them that there is always time to sing and dance... even if we are cruddy at either of them... (thank Goodness we are good dancers...ha... and she has the voice that is so beautiful.)

I sat and looked at my daughter and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she will be the best mommy yet. I know she will be kind and gentle and give with her heart and soul to Little Miss Bella Jo. I knew I may have made mistakes on the way, but I taught my daughter the value of friendship and loving others and not abandoning them when they are needed. I know she will be the best she can be. This sounds like I am putting it all in words doesn't it... but truly I am not, as there are no words that can tell you just the way I feel. These words seem so small and so weak in comparison to how my heart feels.

So I am at a loss for words yet again, and yet, I know that the first time Amanda Michelle gets to hold her baby, she too will be sitting there, taking it all in, and not having words to tell anyone just how her heart feels. Here is a girl that never wanted kids for fear she would let them down, and in my heart I know she is going to be a wonderful mommy.

Cheers to parenthood... cheers to Mandie... and cheers to Ms Bella Jo. Another princess in my life, right up there with Miss Amanda and Miss Carlie...

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