Today is a day of fear...

It has been a tough weekend. A weekend of soul searching. A weekend full of tears and fears coming to the surface. As strong as we try to be... this is a day that I continue on the paths in my head of the unknowns and the fears that go along with it. Life is so precious and much too short... why must it be so short? This is a weekend of loss... and a weekend of... well... I don't know where I am or who I am today... death... an evil and ugly word meaning... the show is over.

Today I reach for blessings that surround me...

I came home and started to immediately open all the windows... let in the fresh air. I go outside... and there, my lilac bush is in full bloom. Usually it blooms in May... but there were only a few blooms in May. Today, it is covered in at least a hundred blooms of lilacs. I sit and weep. I needed those blooms today. I needed to smell how good they smell and how pretty they are. I needed to know that even when we give up on things... they bloom and they grown... just like that lilac bush. Even when I gave up on it... it grew.